So yesterday I received a couple of emails regarding estate matters that stirred up the pot of family experience for me. I found myself feeling attacked, unappreciated and misunderstood. I looked within to see how long THAT has been going on. Definitely a pattern – what an awesome opportunity to send old programming swirling off between the eclipses into that big beautiful Grand Cross!!

But first I spent an awful lot of time going over everything in my head – justifying my behaviours and my opinions. Happily, I largely contained myself on that, knowing that there is no-one to convince but me. I crafted long & detailed responses that show my best self, and did my best not to “fight back” – like I want to feed the frenzy by adding my considerable energy to the fray. Well, you know that parts of me do, but instead I went more “in” to mine the depths, and did my best to be mature about it all.

Now, the fact of the matter is that I am afraid that I am deserving of some of the criticisms that are levelled at me, and I know that the desire to lob some back is where that fear resides. So I focused instead on the parts I am proud of, and made a note to set right anything that inspires shame or embarrassment. Easy peasy – lose the drama and harness that energy into productive action. This feels good. On with the rest of the day!